Doelwit van een pester in je gezin

Doelwit in het vizier van de ontluikende Gezins-Serie pester (GSP)

doelwit van een sociopaat, pester in je gezin(waar ‘zij’ staat kan ook ‘hij’ gelezen worden)
In de vroege jeugd beweegt afgunst de GSP ertoe één gezinslid als ‘Hoofd’ doelwit uit te kiezen. De GSP heeft een sterk verlangen de belangrijkste van het gezin te zijn. In de ogen van de GSP is het Hoofddoelwit een sterke concurrent die haar positie bedreigt en daarom uitgeschakeld moet worden.

Al doende verslaafd raken aan de kick die pesten geeft.

Wanneer de GSP succesvol blijkt in het beschadigen van de reputatie van haar Hoofddoelwit, ervaart zij dat als een beloning voor haar manipulatieve acties.
Uit hersenonderzoek is gebleken dat Seriepesters zeer gevoelig zijn voor de prikkel van beloning. Zo raakt de GSP al doende verslaafd aan pesten en ontwikkelt zich tot Seriepester. Zij raakt tevens gehecht aan haar haat voor het Hoofddoelwit.

Een peuter vermomt als volwassene.

Het narcistische verlangen de allerbelangrijkste te zijn, is volstrekt normaal voor het tirannieke jonge kind tijdens de peuterfase, de zgn ‘terrible two’ fase. De GSP blijft echter in deze fase van ontwikkeling steken. Een volwassen Seriepester is emotioneel onderontwikkeld. Zij bekijkt de wereld in feite nog steeds vanuit het perspectief van de peuter en reageert als zodanig.

Identiteitsroof

Met haar manipulaties zorgt de GSP ervoor dat de kwaliteiten van het Hoofddoelwit door de andere gezinsleden worden geduid als zwakheden. Tegelijkertijd doet de GSP zich zelf voor als iemand die deze kwaliteiten juist bezit. In zekere zin doet de GSP aan identiteitsroof en ‘bestaat’ zij dóór haar Hoofddoelwit. Zelf is de GSP leeg. Zij krijgt geen contact met de diepere lagen van het bestaan, vanwege haar flinterdunne gevoelsleven en gewetenloosheid. Daarom kiest zij altijd een nieuw Hoofddoelwit zodra een eerder Hoofddoelwit uit zicht verdwijnt.

De obsessieve behoefte aan prooi.

Wanneer onthulling van de ware aard van de GSP dreigt, moet het Hoofddoelwit volledig uitgeschakeld worden. De GSP zal onder gezinsleden de theorie in het leven roepen dat het Hoofddoelwit de veroorzaker van familieproblemen is en dat het weer als vanouds vredig in de familie wordt wanneer dit gezinslid verdwijnt. Vredig zal het echter nooit worden. Deskundigen definiëren seriepesten als een obsessieve drang macht uit te oefenen, te manipuleren en te straffen, vergelijkbaar met een verslaving. Wegvallen van een doelwit betekent dat een GSP zonder aarzelen een ander Hoofddoelwit uit haar voorraad Bondgenoten kiest.

Als God bepalen wie mee mag doen.

Mensen zijn dingen voor Seriepestkoppen. Het Hoofddoelwit is nog minder dan dat. Ter illustratie, toen een GSP werd gevraagd of zij wel eens dacht over het effect van haar haat op het leven van haar Doelwit, was het antwoord: ‘Om een persoon te kunnen haten, moet die wel eerst bestaan.’

Voor het gezins doelwit wordt het abnormale de norm.

Het jonge en nog naïeve Hoofddoelwit leert haar positie in het gezin en in het leven aanvaarden. Zij weet niet beter. De psychische schade kan ingrijpend zijn voor een doelwit. De innerlijke verwarring is groot. De feedback van haar directe omgeving, die een veilige haven zou moeten zijn, is verwarrend. Lees hoe dat werkt: gaslighting, innerlijke verwarring zaaien en gaarkoken.

Lees ook over het gezinslid dat, onbewust of willens en wetens, als rechterhand door de GSP wordt gebruikt:

Gezins – Pleitbezorger

copyright © Flourishh 2014

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